A free mind

There was a boy. He did whatever he liked, never listened to anyone and never took advice. But yes he observed, and he did observe the slightest of the stir. He believed in being original, being his own. He thought of himself very highly, loved everything he did and thus never questioned his conscience. To his near ones he was an obstinate and a highly egoistic boy. He grew up on these beliefs of his, strengthening every aspect of his creance with every question that life brought. He never believed he was wrong.
Until sometime, something strange happened. No one can describe the strangeness. But from then onwards the boy lost his self. He started to dream. He started being carried away by his feelings. He suddenly felt jealousy. He suddenly thought what would the world think. He lost his confidence and could no longer distinguish between right or wrong. He could only see his mind wandering over one thing. There was nothing more that bothered him, but just that. And that made him feel frustration, anger and loneness of the magnitude he had never felt in his life. He called it love.
It took a long time for him to get back, realize what is happening around him. To restore his self being. And then he thought, is he such an weak character that he can be thrown out of balance by the just simple human emotions. He tried to figure out the answers and to find a new self. It was very difficult. Nothing made sense to him from the new perspective he had grown by now. Instead he realized the whole idea of self discovery that he had been so much proud of is nothing but just the pursuit itself. He could never find an answer but the way to find the answer.
In his new mind he had a lot of things cleared up, sorted out. But he did regret one thing. He had lost the compassion he had in him earlier while making the new the self. He started to care less about the others, he started to accept that no one is for the other but for own self. Now his mind did not have any fixed point to think from but an arbitrary conscious which he felt was too much of an hard work to keep afloat. He wondered, is that it? Do all the questions he had have this answer. So long he did not want to learn this fact. Just ignoring it, but as he was always; never listened to others. And now faced a strong reality: Life is nothing more but pure hard work and attention to detail, everything else that goes around is set automatically. In fact he thought even having fun, enjoyment or pleasure did require a strong conscious mind, and he could no longer afford to let his mind free. He said to himself, a free mind cannot be trusted, it is bound to go wrong; how so ever the way may seem right at that point of time. But he still loved his free mind.