Do You Care?

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Do you really care about anything and everything going around you? If yes you are god, do not read more; and if you don't really, being a mortal like me please do complete this.

We do constantly look for things around, finding things that match our thoughts and thus giving us a constant dose of non-religious righteousness. Finding something which our minds can accept without really much changing the already grown network of thoughts. Feeling that you are probably not odd one out. And I don't think you probably care of anything except which fills the above criteria.

I always hate saying anything against anything which already prevails so much wildly inside the world, because I believe if it can exist, it has to be correct. But this particular thought isn't to my understanding, think about it, how can such almost seemingly impossible world with so much complexity at each level of existence boil down to this stupidity? Baffles me, confuses me, does not make sense to me. Why can’t just the conscience, of which some people are so proud of, say to them that this is futile, useless. They are bloody not interested in anything else.

Probably it’s the mind which likes to be always in the comfortable zone, not wanting to explore out. Probably this is what is called being happy. Probably this is what is called to be in peace. But then you become more of self, entangled, embroiled, fixed into your own world. Anything small going wrong inside it, would hold you, make you go into depression, stop you from thinking straight. And that is not definitely the best of the situations.

Exploring is therefore important, try to feel like someone else, try to get into someone else's mind. Not lamenting over small situations, looking at the larger picture even if its out your comforting zone, even if you don't like doing so, coz once you do it, you will see how good it was doing it. I don't say forget your loved ones, I don’t say don't care about them. But give some less of your thinking time to them, you'll like it, I am sure of it. Care for this world too!

Confused

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Traveling, so many people around, different people, people who don't know each other, people like me, maybe like you, different perspectives, different thoughts, different individuals, but still there is stillness, silence, solitude. I have this intensely strong, undeniable, incomparable emotion sometimes.

This stops me, makes me feel like a minuscule particle in this huge huge world. People say world is consolidating. I say its moving apart, breaking into parts, falling apart. There are so much extraordinary amount of thoughts/emotions playing around, if could be recorded would fill our entire capacity only by infinitely small amount of itself.
Different ways I found to digest this;

One way I took it;
I don't know if I was living in a secret bubble of myself or I was just an idiot not to understand this entire complexity and fine balance of existence of human-life. There is just no limit to what people can think of, people can do, people can accomplish. People having different state of minds, some happy, some exhilarated, some bored, some wishing they could die, some wishing they could live forever. And there I was thinking of some weird phenomenon simply away from any other fixed point. I am a anyone, just as anyone, living this life in a futile and a wasteful way, no aim and have no energy to do whatsoever. But then this way at least I am "part" of the rest of it.

And the other after much thinking (…to satisfy my self, which I like the best);
They, not me are idiots, silly, stupid people unaware of everything. I just have to see things as they seem to me, seclude myself from them, try find my own answers. I can do what ever I like to do, make myself useful in any way I want to and completely ignoring all the other beings, as if they don’t exist at all. I can do anything, everything, nothing is impossible; all it needs is deep understanding, of what ever I do. Suddenly I have something in me, sudden upsurge of energy; to do it huge. But then this separates me from the others, they don’t like me. They think I am weird.

What I should be doing;
Well, this is the most practical one, but also most difficult to learn and stay with. Mix both of the above states of mind and use whichever is required whenever. This is stupid, really you are just adapting yourself. Erasing any morals you may have, to fit in here. You are not being true to yourself, saying things just to have you being considered "good" in the society. What the hell, this is really not going to have peace, you know its all made up, nothing is real. You constantly have fear. But one thing, you will be "in" always.

I so much wish, there could be a simpler way, no losing on any part and still be happy! But I don't really think such state exists. But I will never leave hope.

Note: I wrote this while I was feeling so much sleepy, so this might have sounded very, umm cheesy! Inconvenience regretted