A free mind

There was a boy. He did whatever he liked, never listened to anyone and never took advice. But yes he observed, and he did observe the slightest of the stir. He believed in being original, being his own. He thought of himself very highly, loved everything he did and thus never questioned his conscience. To his near ones he was an obstinate and a highly egoistic boy. He grew up on these beliefs of his, strengthening every aspect of his creance with every question that life brought. He never believed he was wrong.
Until sometime, something strange happened. No one can describe the strangeness. But from then onwards the boy lost his self. He started to dream. He started being carried away by his feelings. He suddenly felt jealousy. He suddenly thought what would the world think. He lost his confidence and could no longer distinguish between right or wrong. He could only see his mind wandering over one thing. There was nothing more that bothered him, but just that. And that made him feel frustration, anger and loneness of the magnitude he had never felt in his life. He called it love.
It took a long time for him to get back, realize what is happening around him. To restore his self being. And then he thought, is he such an weak character that he can be thrown out of balance by the just simple human emotions. He tried to figure out the answers and to find a new self. It was very difficult. Nothing made sense to him from the new perspective he had grown by now. Instead he realized the whole idea of self discovery that he had been so much proud of is nothing but just the pursuit itself. He could never find an answer but the way to find the answer.
In his new mind he had a lot of things cleared up, sorted out. But he did regret one thing. He had lost the compassion he had in him earlier while making the new the self. He started to care less about the others, he started to accept that no one is for the other but for own self. Now his mind did not have any fixed point to think from but an arbitrary conscious which he felt was too much of an hard work to keep afloat. He wondered, is that it? Do all the questions he had have this answer. So long he did not want to learn this fact. Just ignoring it, but as he was always; never listened to others. And now faced a strong reality: Life is nothing more but pure hard work and attention to detail, everything else that goes around is set automatically. In fact he thought even having fun, enjoyment or pleasure did require a strong conscious mind, and he could no longer afford to let his mind free. He said to himself, a free mind cannot be trusted, it is bound to go wrong; how so ever the way may seem right at that point of time. But he still loved his free mind.

An Envoi

Creativity simplified
Is perspicuity amplified.
The clarity transformed,
Becomes ingenuity reformed.

Eccentricity is critical;
Display has to be trivial,
Poetry is barony;
The acres are euphony.

Constraints resolved;
Are runes evolved,
Poetry is aesthetics;
The object is metrics.

Drudgery's trace;
Gives a daedal grace,
Poetry is to weave;
The needle's to heave.

Serendipity favors
Luckiest of them all,
Poetry is gamble;
Wager the imagination's parable!

Avēre

Arcane contemplation;
The thought such
Required a culmination;
Am I a human too much?

Water and Cloth, I require so much;
Love and Seduction, I indulge so much;
Spare is what I needn't ,
Care is what I don't.

Exonerate me, I may see;
Reverberate it, I may remember.
Make me assiduous, remove the resentment
And make me tender.
But will that serve the purpose?

Alacrity I love, Pulchritude I adore;
And humans have the most of them both.
Void is what that never fills;
And that, adds frills.

I am a human too much!

Growing Up?

Sincerity is a chore that we perform every day. Honesty is a conscious constant effort, like hiking up your pants when you don't have a belt. Love is the nearest street corner to your house, you see it every day and you pass it by, always reminded, always there for the taking. Truth is brushing your teeth, you can force it, fake it, or mean it, but if you get it done eventually you'll come to like it.

Wonder why it took me so long to realize this! Wonder why I seemed to go round and round but never to the point! It's more of a perfect day today rather than just any other day! Its worthless stretching and rebounding every time like a rubber band, but invaluable staying like a long and calm thread. You just need to stop and clean up the mess around.

And now I feel like lying down and wondering, what had happened, what had got a hold on me. Was I so weak? Was I so stupid? But I will probably never get an answer, or maybe I just grew up.

Anyone Believes?

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So you believe in a super-duper-natural power? Answer without thinking, an answer which you would give instantaneously, an answer of yours which you will carry with you, all your life. I don’t want a answer that you will give to me, or to someone else for that matter, but an answer that you'll keep to yourself. It is good, if at least you have an answer. Whatever it may be, I really don't care. It is your belief, and its yours, purely yours. And I do respect that, with all my heart.

People have beliefs, people have religion, people have gods. I am not at all saying its bad; after all, almost everyone; you see around has one, and this is probably a good thing to have. Belief does give you some calm, ease, and maybe some relief. Religion has been here for long, maybe from the time when first of the intelligent life existed. It is something which has pursued itself, made a place for itself, in our minds, which we call conscience sometimes. Religion (or belief) might be good, but I really need to question if everyone requires it or not. I cannot just accept it as it is, I need a reason to follow it.

But sadly or maybe for the good, I never found one. Really what's the point? It makes your life easier, or maybe you believe it that ways. You just leave something for some unseen, unpredictable, unknown force to complete it for you. You say it would be done if god wishes it to be. You stop worrying about it. You become indifferent. Maybe this is good for some situations, but the same states of mind can be achieved through reasonable thinking too. Why do you want to shy away from the situation, you can probably be much more confident if you just think it over rather than leaving it to your god. Also to an addition to this you waste your time too, going to the worship places and etc. I have seen people spending huge amount of their time and money on religious ceremonies, customs, etc; which instead could have been utilized in a more efficient manner; maybe for some charity incase they have money to just to burn.

I say faith makes you do less amount of work on your thoughts. I say it makes you hollow from inside, which is exactly opposite to what many say "Religion completes you". Maybe I am too wild to accept religion ever, but I certainly won't accept it until I find a reason to.

The problem is I cannot stop thinking about religion coz its so much prevalent, so much wide spread and so much talked about. And I am completely baffled by this fact. There has to be something which is supporting it so much. And I do think sometimes it might be the "God" ;)

Anger

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Only if I didn’t have to do it. Only if I wasn't supposed to do it. Only if this world didn’t require me to do it. I wish I couldn’t do it. I wish I had not been told to do it. Many times you don't want to do anything or a something but this fucking world requires you to do exactly it. Precisely the thing you hate to do. Quite the thing that makes you angry when you are told to do.

Is there a way out? Maybe yes, maybe not.
Depends if you have a habit of giving in and accepting, then probably you don't require a solution. You are already doing it, it does not bother you. Just for the sake of it. Just because you are told all of them do it. Just because you have to do it.

I seriously doubt any kind of inquisitiveness in their minds, they are merely robots; learning each thing as it comes, never learn out of them, never find out answers to them, never find something that connects them all. They were never told to question their cognition. They are overwhelmed by this world, making them numb to more the beautiful things in life. They seem so much uninteresting to me, so much boring, so much lifeless. How-so-ever they may seem from the outside. I do not have anything for them.

But then there are some others, who resist, who fight. They can not accept things as they are. It is always difficult for them. Trust me, doing things you seriously can't understand is the worst torture ever! Worse than any situation, worst than any god-damn thing. These are the ones who can feel, sense their own deepest desires, and not shy away from them. They follow one unified rationale for each and every thing. Their madness is their sanity.

But they do overcome this, they understand. This is what maybe is the ultimate test for their logic, without breaking apart, without falling, without going into repression. I don't know if they always succeed but they try. Its always much delightful for them, world thus never seems useless. Always ready, always in touch with their self. Its beautiful again then.

Note: Yeah right, I was in complete angry mood otherwise this post could have been much better, but anyway I posted it. And surprisingly my itunes kept on shuffling Pink Floyd which exaggerated it even more.